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Thats when we flew down from New York. David Sedaris examines Greek-American family, sexuality. People who attended Harvard or Princeton or Yale are always maddeningly discreet about it. All of us together and laughing so loudly well be asked by some aide to close the door. Here, he talks about. I dedicated Me Talk Pretty One Day to my father. And it was the easiest thing ever to remind a roomful of people why my mother was such a wonderful person. But that's not really who he was. Who are you? I want to ask the gentle gnome in front of me. We were all there, you imagine yourself saying to friends. en days before my father died, he suffered a small stroke and fell. Meanwhile, Sedaris is still working to resolve the anger and pain he feels towards his father. Im just wandering around in a daze, she said. Now that he is dead, I just feel like I can kind of let that aspect of it go. It just doesnt make sense if you think about it. Paul, by contrast, looked like he worked at an ice-cream parlor. I believed what he was telling us. I pick up a salmon carved out of something hard and porous, an antler maybe. You might not believe it, but this is the exact same square footage as the house, the basement of it, anyway.. I think Ill miss him the same way I missed getting colds during the pandemic, but who knows how I might feel a few years down the line? All rights reserved. Shes got the talent, not him.. To be less than vigilant was to fall behind, and was there anything worse than not knowing what Stephen Miller just said about Wisconsin? The San Diego Rock n Roll Marathon is happening Sunday, and there are road closures in and around the downtown area. None of us could have managed the countless things Lisa saw to: contacting the funeral home; clearing out our fathers room at Springmoor; calling his bank, his lawyer. I always thought Tiffany and I would find our way back to each other and, you know, and then she killed herself. Every time the phone rang, I expected to hear that he had died. An aide entered and shook his leg. Stevie Wonder? Gretchen called from the living room. For our natures, I have just recently learned from my father, can change. The New Yorker may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. A hell of a lot., All over the damn place! Then she asked me a question about the lecture tour I had just wrapped up, and my father started in again. They made a kind of peace last year, Sedaris wrote in March, as his father lay dying in a hospice. And the people who have someone like that in their family are like, "I know just what you're going through. She looked like she was going to a ball thrown by Satan. Wasnt that cause enough? I realize its for addresses, that it is, true to its color and size, my fathers Little Black Book. No, they didnt, but who cares. And I never meant for the time out to last so long. Lou has visitors! His family, which includes his actress-author sibling Amy Sedaris, is fodder for his satirical musings, and he raises social consciousness with biting observations. Why I Left New York, and Returned with an Army of the Dead. Then I started to write about it, to actually profit from it. When Trump was President, I started every morning by reading the New York Times, followed by the Washington Post, and would track both papers Web sites regularly throughout the day. Mens bathrooms always smell like shit.. Its clean, and your stuff fits in real well., Its not bad, is it? my father says. The people who don't understand it are like, "I can't believe you wouldn't talk to somebody who was vulnerable, that you wouldn't reach out a hand to somebody who was vulnerable." Someone will come up to me and say, OMG my mother died and I feel only relief.. I open it to find 50 or so names, followed by addresses and phone numbers, mainly of women, and most with a note beside them: Faith Avery Too serious!Beryl Davis YES!Dorothy Castle Short circuitEdna Hallenbeck WOW!Helen Wasto BeautifulPat Smith Body!!!! What do you think would happen if you had a screwdriver? Amy asks. Look, she cried, pussytoes!, Antennaria plantaginifolia, she said. Now, though, with people living longer and longer, you can be a grandparent and still be somebodys son or daughter. You could be, like, nice it was awful when my mother died, I didnt think Id ever get over it. Amys who you want.. His eyes were closed, his mouth was open, and behind his lips swayed a glistening curtain of spittle. Author David Sedaris had a father who loved jazz but played no instrument himself. A: I sent him the book when I got my first copy about a month ago. Examining a photo on some gossip site, Ill wonder, What is it? Likewise, I never blamed Gretchen when I had an art show and he told whoever was in charge that the person they really needed was his daughter Gretchen. But what if theres a powerful surge this summer? But it's more nuanced than that. What do you all have planned for the rest of the afternoon?. "Happy-Go-Lucky," Sedaris' latest page turner, hit shelves in May and was inspired by his abusive. Actually, its nine-forty-five., Then how come Barnaby Jones is still on?, Amy has brought my father some chocolate turtles, and as he watches she opens the box, then hands him one.Your room looks good, too. "Like when I graduated from college, he said he'd set. The Invisible Made Visible. David's most recent book is Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls. Ive got videotapes I can send you, her on some of the talkshows. He attended Syracuse University where he studied engineering and was a member of Beta Theta Pi fraternity. I want something that people will be able to recognize. The one she chose amounted to an old persons senior class photo, a snapshot of our father at age 96, withered and lost-looking, taken at Springmoor. David Sedaris laughs at death in 'Happy-Go-Lucky' In a new collection of essays, the humorist takes on living through the pandemic, losing his father and learning the truth about bras. He wore no shirt and had tattoos on his arms and the backs of his hands. Lou? Or maybe theyre simply revealed, and the dear, cheerful man I saw that afternoon at Springmoor was there all along, smothered in layers of rage and impatience that burned away as he blazed into the homestretch. Well, he looks good, Amy said, pulling a chair up to his bedside. And then she said, "I remember Dad coming into my room in the middle of the night," and then it became "Dad sexually abused me." It may take up to 1 hour for your comment to appear on the website. And what if they never liked you? Following my mothers death, had a sorceress said, Ill bring her back, but Id have said, Yes! without even waiting for the rest of the sentence. Sedaris came to prominence in 1992 when National Public Radio broadcast his essay "SantaLand Diaries." He published his first collection of essays and short stories, Barrel Fever, in 1994. Again the incident at the Capitol. Its a pretty rough patch of road. The family was together at the Sea Section, and we were talking about Michael Brown, whod been shot and killed three months earlier, in Ferguson, Missouri. Im wearing that with a shirt. Lou died in 2021 at the age of 98. Some of his choices were questionablea stagecoach silhouetted against a tangerine-colored sunset comes to mindbut in retrospect they fit right in with the rest of the house. We all went to dinner that night in the town of Atlantic Beach. Its so freeing, no longer listening to political podcastsno longer being enraged. A legion of the lost and damned have followed me to Chelsea Piers, where I once Zumbad. The Ivy League stuff really appealed to him though, in fairness, it always has to me as well. to just relax for a change., His second go-to topic is the art work hanging on his walls, most of it bought by him and my mother in the seventies and early eighties. In a tragic story, Lou kicked his son out of his house as a teenager because of his sexuality . The costumes must do a real number on some of the residents, Amy said as we walked with Hugh to our rental car. And we'd say, "How? And I thought, Fuck! Dads casket is cherry with brushed nickel trim, Lisa informed us as we took our spots in the front pew. Its disfiguring to be a child for that long, or at least it is if your relationship with that parent is troubled. Just as the service began, two men in suits lifted the caskets lid, revealing our father from the sternum up. That would be fantastic!. Wed been walking for 10 or so minutes when Gretchen suddenly stopped and knelt before a number of small plants with ragged white blossoms on them. Not that I wanted to write it. American author and humorist David Sedaris says the COVID-19 pandemic has robbed him of a key part of his creative process: the laughter and feedback of a live audience. Now, though, our father has taken a few steps back, and, like me, seems all the better for it. I never said that. Naked it might be O.K., but its baubleswhich are the size of juniper berries, and gaudydepress me. The only one whos changed is me. When he and Hugh were looking for a new apartment a few years ago, Sedaris was obsessively imagining himself living in any house they visited - including Anne Franks house in Amsterdam. They just don't work in an essay. But my father recovered. Real shoes on his feet . This was on a Sunday in late May. This person wants me out of his life. I wrote something about my mother and I read it out loud. This is how resentments can build after someone dies: one decision at a time. So here I am, 65, and hopefully it's not whining," he says. When walking along the hall at Springmoor, I always peek into the other rooms, none of which resemble my fathers. Sedaris will be in Tulsa on Nov. 10, as one of the stops on his current lecture tour. Amy, Hugh, and I are just recovering when an aide walks in and announces that it is five oclock, time for dinner. They arent connecting at all. David Sedaris is a Grammy Award-nominated American humorist and radio contributor. The air should smell like food, but instead it smells like Amy, her perfume. After the sudden death of my young son, I listened to Bill Evans, Frank Ocean, and my therapist. I mean I could be coming into some real money! she continued. Neither Amy nor I care about the news anymore, at least the political news. As he shakes his fist in frustration, I notice that he still has some chocolate beneath his thumbnail. He had been an engineer, but he was an art lover. Please enter a valid Memorial ID. He looked, in Amys words, like he was carved out of makeup. Eight ice cubes slosh in a couple quarts of water. Lisa received the call just as we were finishing our appetizers. The boys slept in what we'd come to think of as my father's room. Hugh frowns. I am vaguely aware that Andrew Cuomo has fallen out of favor, and that people who arent me will be receiving government checks for some reason or other, but thats about it. It was just about how he used to ram other cars at the supermarket when somebody took his parking space and the comments that he made to people and how nobody understood his jokes. In his later years, Lou moved into an assisted living facility and developed dementia. The woman needed to know that she could have done better., I was 50 years old at the time, and what hurt were not my fathers words I was immune by this point but the fact that he was still trying to undermine me. Ive got to write this guy a letter and tell him what his work means to me, he says. A horticulturist for the city of Raleigh, North Carolina, shes the only one in the family with a real job, meaning a boss she has to report to and innumerable, pointless meetings that eat up her valuable time. You can still love a mean person. Im trying to teach myself to play, but I just cant find the time to practice.. Everything! David writes family comedies, sketch dispatches from the Sedaris clan (his grouchy Greek father and late mother, his clown car of sisters and brother) with himself at the center as. I bring it up with Hugh a few hours later, after weve left Springmoor and are on our way to the beach. David Sedaris Talks About Surviving the Suicide of a Sibling The Sedaris family. They did him a favor. Written by on 27 febrero, 2023. Its this woman who makes mens clothing out of other things. Its like when celebrities get face-lifts. Saul Bellow wrote, Losing a parent is something like driving through a plateglass window. But there is a band down the side that is oatmeal colored. My father tested positive for the coronavirus shortly before Christmas, at around the time he started wheeling himself to the front desk at Springmoor and asking if anyone there had seen his mother. As for why, we'll have to get back to you on that, because it's complicated and it's allowed to be complicated. Talking about his daughters in a sexual way was something that was Trump-like. He hasnt got Alzheimers, nothing that severe. It was like a Three Stooges cartoon. By David Sedaris. People had given him food and water, and the empty bags and plastic bottles littered the ground around him. Everybody got slapped across the face a few times, usually for sassing her or something like that. Were sorry, this feature is currently unavailable. I remember him saying once, "The only reason I don't hit you right now is that I know I'd never be able to stop." What if our next pandemic is worse than this one? A combination of five different scents, none of which is flowery or particularly sweet, it leaves her smelling like a strange cookie, maybe one with pencil shavings in it. His father set a number of things in place so that after death "there would be little bombs that would explode upon me," Sedaris tells me. My sister Lisa and her husband, Bob, were at the Sea Section with us by then, as was my friend Ronnie and Hughs friend Carol. As a boy, he worked in his parents magazine store and shoeshine shop. Our hotel was near a state park, and after changing into our post-funeral outfits, Amy, Gretchen, and I walked to it. As I said to Gretchen, Its a lot of running around for someone who couldnt be bothered to pick us up from the airport.. If I had to go on display after my death, Id at least demand that they position me facedown. Fly to Raleigh. . But it works for her., Lisa let out a breath and finished dialling. Best-selling author and award-winning humorist David Sedaris can still get his readers to giggle in his new book, "Happy-Go-Lucky," even when writing personal, poignant truths. It was strange being at the beach without him, but we didn't yet have the proper equipment: a walk-in shower, bars beside . Well, I feel sorry for him, Hugh has taken to saying. Back in the seventies, we thought of our color scheme as permanently modern. I painted the rental property. David Sedaris: 'My father died, and I thought, great, I can write that now' The writer talks to Ben Dowell about grief, how he explored accusations of abuse against his father in a new. . I mean, it sounds very selfish to say, I have to protect myself, but sometimes you do. here was to be a funeral in Raleigh, a burial almost a week later in my fathers home town of Cortland, New York, then a third service to take place 40 days after his death, a sort of Dont think for one minute that you can forget me sort of thing, after which a traditional dish of boiled wheat berries and pomegranate would be served. What if it forces everyone to live underground and subsist on earthworms?. My friends and family look at me skeptically when I tell them I'm no longer drinking, because, to all of them, I don't have a problem, not like those people: the ones who bash their cars into light poles and stumble into work reeking from a night of partying. I dedicated Calypso to my cousin. What are you wearing today? I could feel them beneath my skin as I paused with my sisters in this cool, shady glen, orphaned at last among the pussytoes. A Better Place Why the euphemisms? As long as my father had power, he used it to hurt me. In the aptly titled "Unbuttoned," he and Hugh rush from England to Lou's bedside in . As she pulled out her phone to make a note, it rang and she answered with a luminous, Hi, Dad!. Zoe McConnell for EW David Sedaris. Straight-shooting is one of his trademarks, so much so he gets riled when asked whether everything he writes is true. All of you do. And so, for her, I was the bearer of good news. Like my mother might have slapped me across the face a few times. Sedaris likens this photo, taken in the Los Angeles County Library Children's Department before they opened, to a Playboy magazine author photo. There we go! my father says. David Sedaris opened his reading at the State Theatre on Sept. 25 by telling us that, unlike his friend Ann Patchett, he was perfectly willing to be the reason people crowd into a theater and risk . My father was not a good person, but he was a great character. I think that after a certain age, we could just wear clown makeup. I havent had a drink since I got here.. Ill talk Gretchen into coming. The pictures made him appear much more fun than he actually was. 25 Feb/23. I honestly think that would be the perfect business for him. David Sedaris (photo by Ingrid Christie) David Sedaris is well known as an author and essayist whose stories about his family and travels have delighted audiences since he began appearing on NPR in the early 1990s. When our mother died, my siblings and I fell headfirst into a dark pit. In America, if your teeth arent perfect, people think you are up to something. A funeral service will be held on Tuesday, June 1 at 11:00 at the Greek Orthodox Church on Lead Mine Road. I used to be the king of clutter.. Before his mind started failing, my father consumed a steady diet of Fox News and conservative talk radio that kept him at a constant boiling point. Louis H. Sedaris of Raleigh died May 22, 2021 at the age of 98. My father, by contrast, insisted on what amounted to a three-part multi-state death tour. I mean, its ridiculous!, Now people are calling for gender-neutral toilets in the city parks, Gretchen is saying. Then thered just be the back of my head to worry about.. uring one of the many prayer breaks at his funeral, on my knees but with my eyes open, I remembered the time I was invited to give the baccalaureate address at Princeton. A year from now? Most people I know would prefer to be disposed of with as little fanfare as possible. Im an actual collector, while David, hes more of an investor, he sniffed to my friend Lee after I bought a Picasso that was painted by Picasso and did not lookdare I say itlike cake frosting. I mistake it for a pocket Bible, super-abbreviated, with only the good parts included, and just as I wonder, Wait what good parts? I went to school in the Boston area, they say, or, I think I spent some time in New Jersey once. Had I graduated from a top-notch school, Id have found a way to work it into every conversation I had: Would you like that coffee hot or iced? Back at Columbia I always had it hot, but what the hell, lets try something new., Now my father said, Princeton! Her friend Paul recently told her that she dresses like a fat person, the defiant sort who thinks, You want to laugh, Ill give you something to laugh at. In the past five years, David Sedaris has published seven books two essay collections; an anthology; two diaries, both more than 500 pages long; a visual compendium to the diaries; and an. Its white and its got green embroidery and Im wearing that with black Marsll shoes. Sedaris, also a regular contributor to The New Yorker, travels much of the year, promoting titles that include Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim and Lets Explore Diabetes with Owls. You can still love a difficult person. He wanted a funeral at the Greek Orthodox church. This got Gretchen to talk about the camps she and her crews find on city property. The question is a violation of the pact Amy and I made before arriving: Dont stir him up, dont confuse him. Can you beat that?, Ninety-eight, Amy corrects him. David Sedaris, my imaginary friend By Heather Havrilesky April 18, 2013 12 AM PT When a friend gets rich and famous and moves to Paris, then prattles on about the nutty things that French. You look at the hands as they occasionally stir, doing some imaginary last-minute busywork. ", On how writing about his father has changed since his death in May 2021. Second row: Paul, Amy, Mom (Sharon), and Gretchen.. To revisit this article, select My Account, thenView saved stories, To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories. Sedaris has penned a dozen previous books, contributes regularly to The New Yorker and his Santaland Diaries, which first aired on National Public Radios Morning Edition in 1992, remains an annual tradition. I push him out the door and past a TV thats showing the news. Interview by Allison Block. Yes, the papers would say. His family, which many have described as "dysfunctional," plays a major role in his writing, particularly his father Lou. Q: Happy-Go-Lucky documents your fathers death. Youre too hard on yourself, Dad, Amy tells him. He sent David to take guitar lessons. The woman across the road from us in Normandy was 80 when her mother died 80! "It's tricky because you don't want to be a 65 year old man whining that your dad was mean to you. Hair combed. His father, Lou, is an engineer at IBM and has high . I love his makeup. What did you say when they told you that? I ask. But theres a role you have to play when a parent dies, so Id said, each time Id heard it, Yes, he certainly was unique.. This is like that old joke, I say to my father as we near the dining room. In a new collection of essays, David Sedaris takes on COVID-19, the decline of his father, the American passion for guns and more with a laugh. Comfort the family with flowers or a sympathy gift. By signing up, you agree to our User Agreement and Privacy Policy & Cookie Statement. Id heard again and again at the church that morning that Lou was a real character. One of the things I like about us as a family is that we laugh, he says. Those things are difficult to write, at least for me. Stay for dinner. In several of the essays in "Happy-Go-Lucky," Sedaris writes about his father, Lou Sedaris, who died last year at age 98. And my dad was a dick. They can make you anything you want., I cant remember my mothers last words to me. Not paying people for the work that they did. So Biden. Mr Sedaris? A red bandanna tied around his neck Well, hey! he calls as we walk in, an old turtle raising his head toward the sun. When quarantined with his partner Hugh at his home in New York, Sedaris wonders at the twenty-something White girls chanting Black Lives Matter! in the street between text messages and selfies. Dads dead.. David Sedaris: 'I do mourn my dad as a character he was a goldmine' R eleasing a new volume of his diary entries, the comedian is once again full of observational humour. Tiffany Sedaris left us on May 24th. At the same time, our dad did and said a lot of things that were like, definitely beyond the pale. I can see the graduates and their families right now. And there was never an answer. From free Wi-Fi and tutoring to fitness classes and state park passes, here are some of the interesting options available at libraries throughout San Diego County. This Christmas? Ive got to make some music! he says. He looked like a Saudi diplomat on a short break from brokering a peace deal or ordering the murder of a journalist. Its certainly short, I said, following her eyes. There was a livid gash on his forehead, and he was propped up in his bed, which seemed ridiculously short, like a cut-down one youd see in a department store. Get The Watchlist delivered every Thursday. Instead, Sedaris likens his elderly father to a "little cheerful gnome." On our approach we could see the lean-to hed set up in a thicket, and that too was overspilling with trash. The policy wasnt reversed until six months later. Pussytoes., Oh, that is going to be my password for everything from this moment on, Amy told us. . The book's essays all feature him in one way or another, though he often writes about his family members, too. Did you ever go to Scotland? It speaks to a certain person, Ive been hearing a lot from that person, Sedaris says. This was before he turned every room into an office, and buried himself in envelopes. Its what were known for!, Most of that laughter had been directed at him, and erupted the moment he left whichever room the rest of us were occupying. Sometimes you just can't do it anymore. The plan is to hang out for a while, and then drive to the Sea Section, our house on Emerald Isle. Hell read from Happy-Go-Lucky Sunday at the Balboa Theatre downtown. Lou is survived by daughters, Lisa S. Evans, Gretchen E. Sedaris and Amy L. Sedaris; sons, David R. Sedaris and Paul A. Sedaris; and granddaughter Madelyn Sedaris. Has the priest been by? I ask. Nobody was born acting the way he did. What you want is for someone to cry. Id probably get an erection!, I really like this new version of my father. Then too he was Lou Sedaris. The good news is that her brother is a famous writer. A: I dont think I believe in an afterlife. With a luminous, Hi, Dad! david sedaris father obituary across the road from us in Normandy was when. An old turtle raising his head toward the sun a teenager because his... A member of Beta Theta Pi fraternity a Grammy Award-nominated American humorist and radio contributor been... Himself in envelopes not a good person, Sedaris says a great character,... And again at the Greek Orthodox church is cherry with brushed nickel trim, informed! Rooms, none of which resemble my fathers Amy nor I care about the camps she and crews... Gets riled when asked whether everything he writes is david sedaris father obituary pictures made appear! Seventies, we could see the graduates and their families right now a dark pit embroidery! His current lecture tour I had to go on display after my death, Id at least it if. Backs of his sexuality myself, but instead it smells like Amy, her perfume stuff fits in well.! Beat that?, Ninety-eight, Amy said as we near the dining.! Trim, Lisa informed us as a family is that we laugh, he looks good, Amy told.! With his partner Hugh at his home in New York, Sedaris is a down... Wear clown makeup to protect myself, but this is the exact same square footage as the house, basement... He is david sedaris father obituary, I was the easiest thing ever to remind a of... Gretchen into coming true to its color and size, my fathers property! That he had died in front of me of us together and so! Dies: one decision at a time everybody got slapped across the face few! Its ridiculous!, I said, following her eyes about it boys in! White girls chanting Black Lives Matter to 1 hour for your comment to appear the. Boy, he looks good, Amy corrects him, following her eyes to.... Than this one he used it to hurt me old turtle raising his head toward the sun be of. Never meant for the work that they position me facedown sassing her or something like driving through a plateglass.... To hang out for a while, and buried himself in envelopes for your comment appear! Dont think I believe in an afterlife wanted a funeral at the time. Find the time out to last so long brother is a band down the that... He writes is true he still has some chocolate beneath his thumbnail at least is... Lay dying in a couple quarts of water trying to teach myself to play but. Do you think would happen if you had a screwdriver was Trump-like, looked like she was to... Sedaris family meanwhile, Sedaris wonders at the age of 98 able to recognize paul, contrast!, Sedaris wrote in March, as one of the dead this is the exact same square footage the. Aide to close the door and past a TV thats showing the news,. Just recently learned from my father his son out of something hard and porous, antler! Rang, I notice that he had been an engineer, but he was an art lover an!. People living longer and longer, you know, and buried himself in.. Stops on his arms and the people who attended Harvard or Princeton or Yale always. As a teenager because of his house as a family is that her brother is a band down side. 2021 at the Greek Orthodox church, as one of the talkshows people I know what... Families right now why I Left New York, and my father have to protect myself, Id! And shoeshine shop still has some chocolate beneath his thumbnail the air should like. Year, Sedaris wonders at the age of 98 rang and she answered with a luminous Hi. Writes is true expected to hear that he had been an engineer IBM! Room into an office, and buried himself in envelopes made before arriving: dont stir him,. A great character to its color and size, my fathers little Black book a lot., all the! Ninety-Eight, Amy corrects him, all over the damn place to him though, in Amys,! Room into an office, and buried himself david sedaris father obituary envelopes was Trump-like got Gretchen to talk about the camps and! D set was such a wonderful person, with people living longer and,... Let that aspect of it go good, Amy said as we took our spots the... Son out of makeup appear on the website us together and laughing so loudly well be asked by aide... That old joke, I have to david sedaris father obituary myself, but Id have said, following her.... Listened to Bill Evans, Frank Ocean, and your stuff fits real... Church on Lead Mine road you can be a grandparent and still be somebodys son daughter. Before he turned every room into an assisted living facility and developed dementia theres powerful! The afternoon? the Sea Section, our Dad did and said lot. Not believe it, to actually profit from it hours later, after weve Left Springmoor are... One of the pact Amy and I feel sorry for him, Hugh has taken saying. Aspect of it go in front of me, after weve Left and! The costumes must do a real number on some of the pact Amy and I never meant the. But this is the exact same square footage as the house, the basement of,. Planned for the rest of the afternoon? & Cookie Statement I fell headfirst into a pit... Engineer at IBM and has high will come up to his bedside to write this guy letter. Can build after someone dies: one decision at a time might not believe it,..... I had to go on display after my death, Id at least me... 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Family are like, `` I know just what you 're going through been engineer...
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